A "Protruding" Fear

I'm just over seventeen weeks and I am truly enjoying pregnancy.  I try my best to not think about the painful process that will result in my little bundle of joy...seeing as how I probably have five more months.  So I blissfully take in each day and try my best to enjoy it and my growing belly.

Being pregnant does insure one thing...that people genuinely care how you are feeling.  On a typical day at work (being a teacher I am around different people everyday) I am asked

HOW ARE YOU FEELING?

probably 5-6 times.  Before pregnancy people only cared after you had missed a day of work or gone home sick.  People ask all the time.  It's very sweet.  I always respond the same way...

I FEEL GREAT...

because I do!  I feel amazing.

Pregnancy has many perks.  The first of course is that wonderful sensation of feeling your baby move for the first time.  I've only felt it a couple of times (at least I'm almost positive that is what I was feeling :) But it is such a high.  Glowing skin is another great perk!  After dealing with ACNE the whole time I was trying to conceive, pregnancy has been the best zit cream I have ever applied.  I just feel like I have a glow.

However, while I love my new skin and my growing belly, those lingering fears of horrible pregnancy side effects still hovers over me.  Actually one of my worse is what I call a "protruding" fear and it will soon be coming true.  This week I was resting my hand on my belly, when I noticed that my once tightly hid inny-belly button, no longer feels so "tight."  It also no longer feels so "in" as it did a week ago.  I know what you are thinking, "Jami how can you be so vain!  It happens to a lot of pregnant women.  It goes back..." But for some reason an "outy" on me, grosses me out.  I don't know why.  However, I do know that I will be getting over that fear very soon...

I give it another month and I will have a "protruding" belly button.

Four Month Check-Up

We just got home from our four month check-up.  This will be our last appointment with my OB as she will be going on maternity leave herself starting next week.  From here on out we will basically just have an assortment of doctors until this baby makes its grand appearance this summer.  Should be interesting to say the least.

The appointment went well.  I got some questions answered and all vitals looked great.  The best part of course was hearing Baby Butler's heart beating away.  The doctor put the doppler up to my belly and found it right away.  Daddy-to-be recorded it so we could share it with all of you.  

Click here to hear the little one!

Makes my heart smile!

"Trying" for a Baby: Part 2

So I last left you with Keith telling me that he would like to "move up the date."  Now he doesn't admit this now, and I am one to get excited, but I'm pretty sure what he was saying is, "I'm ready to be a dad now."  And if that wasn't what he was saying, well that is how I took it.

The happy couple just a few months after making this HUGE decision!

I was on cloud nine.  At first I wanted to keep it a secret.  Then I wanted to
SHOUT IT FROM THE MOUNTAINS!!!  Keith let me do what I wanted, so I told our parents, our close friends, and my siblings.  Everyone was so excited that we were ready to be parents.  You would have thought that I already had a bun in the oven.

I soon learned that this was one of the biggest mistakes I could make. 

See what we didn't know as love-struck, unexperienced triers, is that sometimes, "not preventing" pregnancy does not mean that you get pregnant.  And before you know it, "not preventing" seems to turn into "actively trying" and then that seems to turn into "miserably failing."  And when people would ask, I had to say, "Not yet..."

Fast forward almost nine months and: Negative test after negative test. A basket case wife.  An expensive fertility monitor. Temping. Charting. Praying. STRESSING!!!

Wanting a baby was RULING my life and making me CrAZy.  

But grace was on it's way...

16 Weeks...

Tomorrow is 16 weeks!  It's pretty exciting how fast things go.  I think because you look at life on a weekly basis, it seems to fly by.  

Apparently the baby is about the size of an avocado (4 1/2 inches).  Now that doesn't seem very big, but my belly is poking out quite a bit!  In fact, yesterday in class a little boy says, "You sure are getting fat."  I smiled and went to get something from my desk and then sat back down.  He goes on to say, "It actually isn't so bad when you stand up."  Put a smile on my face. :)  But my belly truly is just a "little" bump.

Just because someday I could possibly write a book of the funny things kindergarteners say, I thought I would share another conversation I had with a five-year-old this week.  

Little boy: You know your baby is going to get bigger and bigger and then one day it will grow up. 

Me: I don't want my baby to grow up.  I want it to stay my baby forever.

Little boy: Don't you want to see it get married?

Me: No...actually I don't.  I just want it to be my baby.

Little boy: Mrs. Butler...God isn't going to let you get away with that.

Me: No you are probably right...haha.

The fun thing is every day they come in asking, "How big is your belly now?"  And so I proudly stick it out!

"Trying" for a Baby: Part 1

I thought, seeing as how I started this at the beginning of my second trimester, maybe spending a few days going down memory lane might catch us up to how we got to be 15 or so weeks preggo.

Keith and I decided to start "trying" or at least "not preventing" pregnancy in September of 2009.  We had been married two years and it just felt right.  We were sitting at Maggiano's Little Italy stuffing our faces with delicious Italian food.  I know I had the baked ziti...but I have no idea what Keith had...I'm not that crazy.  We were at one of those big booths that it seems silly to seat two people at, but nevertheless, enjoying the space.  This little family walks in and we watch their angelic children walk to their table and sit down.  I know they were cute.  I start daydreaming of babies and children and my handsome husband fumbling to hold a little hand as they walk to a table in a restaurant.

So there I was sipping on a Mojito, when Keith says, "I wanted to talk to you about something." 

Right away my thoughts go to the worse and I figure he is going to say that he wants to push our Summer 2010 plans to start "trying" off another year.  I timidly reply, "Ok..."

Keith kinda looked down, and then at me, and then he said the most wonderful thing that I have heard him say since we have been together (well except that he loves me and the "I do" thing) "What do you think about moving our date up to start trying?"

I. WAS. SPEECHLESS.  The best part was that we were out that night celebrating our anniversary from a couple weeks before.  It was the best anniversary gift ever!

14 Weeks Going on 15

This is me.  I'm 14 weeks and 5 days.  Thursday will be 15 weeks. 

I've stopped counting time in the typical days, weeks, and months.  Since our positive test, everything seems to pertain to pregnancy and since my pregnancy week starts on Thursday, my normal weeks seem off.  What I don't understand is why people say you carry the baby for nine months, but then calculate months as four weeks.  Correct me if I'm wrong but it just does not add up.

I'm in that time between appointments.  Half way exactly actually.  I just can't wait to hear my little baby's heart beat again.  I try not to think of sad things and the "what if's" and I thought that making out of the first trimester with no complications would help ease my mind.  I think my mind will be put to ease really when I'm holding my little bundle of joy this summer.  Until then, I can't wait until I can feel him or her moving around inside me.

Our appointment to determine the gender is set for February 8.  I'm already hearing from everyone what they think it will be.  One lady today said definitely boy, yet others just sense girl.  They say, "What does Mama sense?"  I say, "I sense that I'm having a baby." What do you think?

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New Beginnings

Welcome 2011!  This year promises to offer more change in my life than any other.  Not only will Keith and I be moving back to our hometown, but we will also enter into PARENTHOOD.  A BRAND new chapter in our lives that we are currently studying up on in hopes to be somewhat prepared.  Yes, this summer promises to change our life dramatically, but we believe it will be for the best!  This is our journey.  I am excited for the adventure. I’m starting this blog as a reflection on my experience, a keepsake on the adventure, and just a fun way for family and friends to see us grow through this experience!  Here we go!